Making each other, extract, book 2, travelling, part 2

Making each other

book 2, travelling, Otaon, extract

Andy
‘Have you talked to any of the princesses?’ Andy asked Devery, and put his empty glass on an ornamental wall with the mosaic of some great battle, warriors charging, fires burning.
‘Do I look suicidal?’ Devery said, leaning against the wall.
‘Do you really think, we’d get in trouble for talking to them?’
‘Why? Do you fancy one of the princesses?’
‘No,’ Andy retorted. ‘It’s just strange that our women talk to the princes while we don’t talk to their princesses.’
‘Do you see any prince talking to a princess?’
Andy scanned the garden. ‘Well, um …’
‘I think we should take our cue from them. And since when are the female members of our team our women?’
Andy grimaced, and Devery patted him on the back. ‘It’s an easy mistake to make. Earlier, I spoke with a prince who talked about his wife like he talked about his cars, yachts, jets and robots: a status symbol, beautiful, high class, his possession, and the envy of his neighbours.’
Andy shook his head. ‘Was he serious?’
‘At first I had my doubts. But no. He’s all about himself. He considers moving to another country so he can “acquire some more beauties.” His words not mine. Mind you, he’s just one of the princes. But I’ve encountered this attitude before, an inherent believe in some men that women are to be acquired and basically exist for a husband’s benefit and pleasure.’
Andy frowned thoughtfully.
‘Come,’ Devery said, tightening his scarf. ‘We’d better get out of the sun again.’
Following Devery, Andy remarked: ‘You know, until I was twenty-seven, I thought every woman was after a partner. As a default, so to speak. And the only reason for a man to talk to a woman was to have sex with her, or maybe a relationship. It hadn’t occurred to me that a woman could be a friend. Or that she would want to be friends with a man.’
‘Who told you?’
‘Daria. She gave me such a bollocking when she started to work for Tom, some six years ago. She shouted something like: “Do you really think a woman isn’t worth your bother only because she doesn’t fancy you or you her? Or is it you? Do you feel belittled or rejected only because friendship is all I might have offered? Is a woman only worth your while if she pines to be fucked by you?”’
Devery chuckled. ‘She really said that?’
‘Something like it, yeah. After that we became friends.’
‘She’s cool. An ace programmer. Doing a great job in London.’
‘Yes. I talked to her this morning. The programming base will be ready by Friday.’
‘Excellent.’ 
Andy and Devery stopped in the shade of an orange tree. From here they had a good view across the garden, all the way to the dais. 
Some of the small tents were in use now, and more people were resting on the seats around the small fountains. The central fountain was still off limits.
Hesitantly Andy said: ‘What if we are what we make each other, I mean women and men?’
Devery eyed him surprised. ‘Are you finally joining the sex talk?’
Andy pulled a face. 
The sex talk. 
Yes, he felt awkward about it. And yes, he wanted to contribute to it nonetheless. And he had been thinking about it for weeks, trying to find something significant. Something worthwhile mentioning. 
A few days back, he finally had a thought. And now he was wasting his big moment on Devery. 
‘Yes, I’m finally joining in,’ he retorted defiantly. 
‘Go on then. And I’m sorry you’re wasting your big moment on me.’
Andy shook his head, smiling a little. ‘I was thinking, maybe we, as in men, behave and think the way we do because of how women treat us. And the other way around. Maybe women behave the way they do because of how we treat them. Except people like Daria, Alice, Jazz, Jane or Giselle, of course, I mean …’
They chuckled. 
‘So what if we become the sort of men and women we are, due to the way we treat or affect each other?’
‘We make each other into who we become? That is an interesting thought.’
‘Well, we put a lot of pressure on each other. Men on women, women on men. And both men and women have internalised gender prejudices and expectations. In fact, there’s too much internalised bullshit. Pardon my French—’
‘Oui, bien sûr!’
‘—and that makes us defensive. Like we see right through the other, and no one’s gonna make a fool of us. So we lash out before we find out what’s really what. And I mean, what’s even real about women and men? And what’s just made up? What’s truly male and what’s truly female? Does any such truly even exist? Or are we just a mix of things, and the rest comes from our interaction with each other? And if we’re not who we really are, then who are we? No wonder we’re so insecure and afraid of the other. How can we be secure if our thinking and our behaviour doesn’t reflect who we are? And if we don’t even know who we are. It’s all so screwed up.’ 
‘Not bad.’
‘Maybe we need to find out in which ways we’ve been made into someone we’re not. And also analyse where our behaviour pushes our fellow humans to be what they— Ah, I don’t know.’
Devery laughed. ‘Andy, that’s really good.’ 
Andy blushed, feeling doubly uncomfortable because Jane and Adeola were coming towards them.
‘And if we were less insecure, maybe we’d stop making each other into some idea of a male or some idea of a female and just be. Whatever that means. I don’t know. But who knows who we really are, and how we’d act if we were ourselves.’
‘Honestly Andy, I think you’re on to something.’
‘Please, don’t tell anyone!’
‘Do you prefer an anonymous contribution?’
‘Is there anyone who doesn’t?’